Conspiracy Theory: This Page is above your security clearance

Conspiracy Theory

What makes a good conspiracy?

Are there any general rules to be found that allow you to spot the best conspiracy theories, New Age bilge and crackpot pseudo-religions?

Palace Admits Prince Charles is Gay

What The Bible Says About Abortion

Palace Admits Prince Charles is Gay

What The Bible Says About Abortion

Meatheads, Slobs and Pencil Necked Geeks

Food Spirits and Calorie Demons

Close Encounter: Video Evidence

Why do people tie themselves in such knots to make the nuggets of myth-encrusted bullshit try to link up to something resembling a coherent whole? It seems you get extra points for incorporating as many of the following as possible:

• JFK murder

• Jesus

• aliens

• Elvis is not dead

• Atlantis

• Neanderthals

• Time travel

• Freemasons

• Leonardo da Vinci

• oil companies

• Buddha

• the Tunguska explosion

• the Big Bang

• the parting of the Red Sea

• the building of the pyramids

• the burning of the library at Alexandria

• the Knights Templar

• the CIA

• the Turin shroud

• Marilyn Monroe

• Howard Hughes

• the Bermuda Triangle

• the conspiracy to make marijuana possession illegal

• con trails

any plot that leaves out more than four of those really isn't trying.

OK, that's the kernel of the idea. Put together a list of loser-bait and wait until the sad pathetic searchers come and find this site in their quest for meaning in their shallow lives. Take a tickaboo peak at this:-

Play The Instant Conspiracy Game:

just add credulity

Collect one token from each column for endless conspiracy theory fun for the whole family

Game play should be familiar to anybody who has played Mornington Crescent.

All moves must be clockwise but counter-intuitive, starting in the far left field.

Constantine

flat earth

Shin Bet

secretly encrypted

Bank:

Rothschilds

The Pope

Loch Ness

Satan

(Move back 666 places)

Anal Probing

(now wash your hands)

Well they would say that, wouldn't they?

Micro$oft

Atlantis

Cleopatra

denies everything

(Miss a turn)

Crop Circles

Mordechai Vanunu

Temple of Solomon

Saint Joseph of Arimathea

Glastonbury

In the Billiard Room with the ice pick

King Arthur

Phoenician
Brotherhood

Lao Tzu

Flying machine

Reptiles

Napoleon

Mossad

king of Jerusalem

Tesla Death Ray

Hoax Moon Landings

Elvis

(pbuh)

Bilderberg Group

Knights of Malta

Is an alien

Genocide

Michael Jackson

(Counts as black or white token)

This square has been censored

(No it hasn't)

JFK/MLK

(Two for One Sale)

Diana

Now I've told you I'll have to kill you.

Marilyn Monroe

(Double word Score)

Badger Mountain

Freemasons

(Joker: can be played at any time)

Adam Weishaupts

This square does not exist

(Players landing on this square will be anally probed and interviewed by the National Enquirer)

Illuminati

Groom Lake

CIA

(Moves like a rook, but under the table)

Condensation trails

Area 51

(Roll Again)

Prince Charles

Murdered

Paris Hilton

Holy Grail

Asteroid Impact

Adolf Hitler

Bermuda Triangle

Free Choice

(Invalid move)

Mind Control

Beatified

Leonardo Da Vinci

Mysterious Death

Is Gay

Tunguska Explosion

Your friends are in on it

McDonalds

Cattle Mutilation

Skunk Works

Cover Up

(This can be kept until needed or sold out)

You Know Too Much

(Stand by for mystery car accident)

Is a Jew

assasinated

Shroud of Turin

Skull and Bones

Officially Denied

(so it must be true)

Don't drink

the Kool-Aid

Aspartame

KGB

Muslims

Rasputin

Ra Ra

Queen of Sheeba

Bigfoot

Close Encounter

Love Child

Brainwashing

666 serious Revelations.

Babylonian brotherhood poisons the world with aspartame according to legend of a worldwide flood mythology. Reptiles originally from Mars are a dragon race of giants bent on world conquest.

The Holy Grail of conspiracy theorists is to prove JFK was assasinated by Elvis with a Tesla death ray from a passing flying saucer piloted by Howard Hughes, housed at Groom Lake after crash landing at Roswell after being hit by ball lightning. Buy all the gods: titans, Odin, Frey, Quetzalcoatl, Thor and Jesus were all one and came from Olympus Mons on Mars in Howard Hughes' personal UFO before returning to Atlantis to oversee their conspiracy to seize the world's supply of oil.

Aryan races with reptilian bloodlines trace across history interbreeding with all European royal families. All modern royalty are descended from Jesus, Horus/Osiris, Tammuz, Joseph of Arimathea, Adam Weishaupts, Leonardo da Vinci and Mary Magdalene, but via IVF.

Light triumphs over darkness as Bush, Blair, Murdoch, Howard Hughes, Bill Gates and Tim McVeigh are all in on the conspiracy. Christopher Columbus, Krishna, Moses and Marilyn Manson are all Roman Catholic Freemasons, Jesuit spies, thetans and reptiles.

Take a Tickaboo peek at this evidence: quick kill radar facility housing Tesla ray gun contra rotational washing machine whitewashes faster. Stain on the shroud removed by Daz, no more christains! Contra rotation around axis of evil.

DDT found contaminated with traces of Sunny Delight.

Lord Lucan found by masons working for Virginia Water Board. Ratzinger has fourteen nights on Malta getting cross with Club 1830 AD.

The cover-up goes to the highest level after discovering cheat codes on the internet.

Roswell craft fair and jumble sale cancelled. Free the defcon 1!

Sinister Skull and Bones plot to foil the FBI, CIA, RCMP, KGB, MFI, ROFL and GCHQ comes unstuck when spooks learn how to read mixed case messages. We're fUÇKëd nOw s@ys enemy of the state.

DNA evidence on the shroud reveals that Jesus was a pigeon. And gay.

"The first rule of politics: never believe anything until it's been officially denied."

McVeigh mysteriously vanished along with Elvis.

Toltecs, Incas and Aztecs learn to make rabbits and ducks from The book of Shadows. Egyptian Book of The Dead returned to the Library at Alexandria, fine of 28,000 camels and the first born of twenty six generations sold in bondage.

Ronald McDonald denied entry to build a burger group.

Elvis Aron Presley rolls away the stone on the empty tomb and rises again as the Antichrist. Buddy Holly mans the gates of Hell and the doors of percepton open wide to greet the prodigal's return match in Rome. Evil triumphs 3 - 1 on aggregate, Mary Magdalene sent off in injury time. Elvis ascends into glory from Tikaboo Peak. Learned Elders of Zion in shock half-time nipple-baring incident during an extraordinary rendition of The Battle Hymn of the Empire.

Studies reveal hurricanes are caused by butterflies in the Amazon, USAF fights back with DDT, PCBs, DLT, BFG, MILFs and a BLT.

Mammon's hegemonic empires invaded by forces of Jihad. Al Qaeda reveals his first name is Algernon, keep it hush-hush, need to know principle.

Used alien rectal probe sold on Ebay.

Tin foil helmets for the bermuda triangle.

Unicorns grazing on the grassy knoll exposed to fallout, flying pigs in manure from the skies anal probe.

Rothschild's bankers international zionist conspiracy.

Speeds of up to ten times the speed of rumour in the rarefied air over Groom Lake. Condensation trails shaped like ring doughnuts seen in recent sightings over teletubbyland (photographic evidence!). Pentagon [sensitive information deleted] including knowledge of the middle name of the US president, “It's a complete embarrassment” claims anonymous source.

Pope Benedict's nag Hammadi falls at the final fence. Third Reich declared fourth after photo finish.

P-2 lodge masons at the Paris Hilton, exclusive evidence available on video, never seen before, more anal probing suspected. Aurora Spy Plane grounded by French air traffic controllers' strike action.

Bilderburg group in mix up with Chris DeBurgh fan club, Little Chef supended in double booking row. Chips implanted under the skin, without benefit of newspaper, salt or vinegar.

If you believe everything you read,
better to not read.

Unbelievable connections

JFK had to be removed. Marilyn Monroe and Manson too

In The Know: Is The Government Spying On Paranoid Schizophrenics Enough?

Microsoft: Just Say No

Reminiscent of third Reich alien technology. Flown by aliens known as Foo Fighters, minus their drummer, who seems to have lost his shirt.

Officially denied rumour claims the craft is made of unobtanium alloys and bullshitium crystals. Con trails are the mark of the beast. This does not exist.

Government scientists deny killing puppies in sick Nazi style experiments with the gullibility of New Age web searchers.

Lords of Cyberspace implicated in global conspiracy to form World Government.

Image of the face of the crucified Elvis found on Mars, NASA denies it all. Who can believe it?

Shroud carried by Knights Templar to their home in Atlantis by the Loch Ness Monster, Rupert Murdoch, Jack The Ripper, Moqtada Sadr, Cardinal Ratbag and Joseph of Arimathea. Top Secret cover up revealed today exclusively by zit-faced geek with no prospect of a girlfriend.

Elvis declared to be pharaoh in Memphis.

Tin foil isn't thick enough to block government mind control waves. Make your mind control wave blocking Faraday cage helmet from beer cans.

Rothschild fathered Adolf Hitler: Queen Victoria, Jack the Ripper and Sigmund Freud were godparents.

“Prince Charles interested in architechture” is code for is the world's chief Freemason and circumcised penis in chief.

US postal system produces child porn conspiracy.

Are aliens in UFOs sending us messages in the sky?

Jesus was as black as Michael Jackson.

Raelians and Moonies go sand dancing with Quetzalcoatl, who was really Jesus in a dress with feathers on it. All religions stem from aliens from outer space, or too much cheese before bedtime.

White smoke over the Vatican reveals the Pope is on drugs.

Cattle mutilations: Ronald McDonald sought for questioning. Michael Jackson abducted by aliens flying blackhelicopters and bleached, anal probing suspected: Jackson's lawyers deny all the charges.

Financiers at the highest level in a Zionist conspiracy of alien reptiles from the planet Mars.

Water powered car developed in 1979 based on sketches by Leonardo da Vinci runs forever on water diluted with dihydrogen monoxide, perpetual motion proved, inventor kidnapped by Detroit hitmen spirited away by angels to Howard Hughes' penthouse in the Vatican in a Gulfstream V to be anally probed. None of this is true.

George Bush in talks with aliens, we have the photographs. Henri Paul was fuggin' drunk. Cuban exiles, al-Qa'ida and Jews thought to be at the bottom of it. Prince Charles could murder a curry. Castro assasignation scheduled for the triple alignment of Uranus, FBI in hysterics. Sharon's testicles named Sabra and Shatila. Hamas served with Wal Mart pitta bread and a squeeze of lemon juice. 23 types of sperm found in Castro's mayonnaise.

Merlin's tomb found to be the source of the fountain of youth, now contaminated with mercury, dioxins and DDT, Bush is implicated.

Egyptian Book of the Dead resurrected into Wal*Mart toilet tissue, ideal material for anal probing.

Rumsfeld in secret talks to buy up unobtanium mining shares from Urosevich brothers.

Hitler drove all over Europe in a car powerd by a single glass of Vichy water. CIA stole the plans.

Bill Gates and Ronald McDonald in secret talks in Dealey Plaza Hotel to take over the White House from the Neanderthal half-breed with the help of food additives and genetically modified food making the lizards hyperactive. Dodi Fayed crashed into the 13th pillar of Islam.

Get a Life

Have you ever felt people were laughing at you behind your back?

Don't look now.

It's happening right under your nose.

Jesus was an alien and fathered my love child claims Mary Magdalene. DaVinci code Nag Hammadi Atlantean crystal. Reincarnated as a small dog in Southern France. Council of Thirteen Merlins convict Mary Magdalene of being a High Priestess of Isis, and Jesus a Son of Horus. Eating Horses.

Pope revealed to be a Sith Lord

Joseph Alois Ratzinger = Darth Benedictus

Elvis Aron Presley crowned King of Jerusalem and declared to be the antichrist. Three headed snake found in Pig's Knuckle Arkansas on Jimmy Hoffa's grave. Could this be a sign of divine ambivalence?

Whore of Babylon indicted on tax evasion charges, top lawyers fly in to help in the CIA's unmarked Gulfstream V for a spot of sun, sea and waterboarding at the Abu Ghraib Hilton and to give an extraordinary rendition of Deutschland Über Alles to the conference hall full of Hitler's clones. Hitler himself was flown out of Berlin by black helicopters and is now helping to run the Republican party's next election campaign.

Osiris, Horus, Krishna, Hercules, Jesus and Quetzalcoatl, are not people or even aliens but preincarnations of Elvis himself.

Druid caught with a virgin unicorn developing cloned babies in a Nazi baby farm.

Paris Hilton is the whore of Babylon.

Natural herbal alternative to aspartame found: sugar.

Prince Charles is to be invested as the AntiChrist and enthroned in the Temple of Solomon, afterwards a light Merovingian buffet lunch will be served: kosher, vegan, vegetarian and vampire options will be available.

Pope Benedict XVI was the secret Merovingian love child of Hitler, DNA evidence reveals the truth.

Are aliens from Uranus? We get to the bottom of anal probing.

7 out of 10 Americans believe Saddam was behind the Twin Tower attacks: sorry that isn't funny, is it?

Sinatra joins in with an extraordinary rendition of the bawdy song Chitty Chitty Bang Bang delivering Nazi messages to assorted Mafia dons and spies at Cambridge.

Neanderthal human crossbreed found in Washington DC. The cover up goes to the highest level.

alien mind probe helmet

Conspiracy theories: CIA stole my brain

ufo alien brain protection helmet

Everybody you think you know is a Freemason and they are all in on the conspiracy. You cannot hide, they are laughing at you right now and the tin foil hats improve the effectiveness of government mind control waves. All your conspiracy theorist friends work for the CIA.

All conspiracy websites are published by the CIA in order to discredit conspiracy theories. Especially this one.

Actually to be fair this website is no longer housed by an ex-US government employee with a top secret clearance.

Searching for The Holy Grail

Locating the Marian Chalice. Two millenia long Quest for the Grail. Have you checked behind the sofa? I'll bet it's in the last place you look.

Echelon code.

Imperative you pretend to be an enemy of the state rather than a sad pathetic loser with a very restricted sex life otherwise you will have to settle for being a lonely wanker.

CIA spooks watching your every move with surveillance cameras based on the Dahlak islands.

Davos is the leader of the Dahlak Islanders.

Planned mechanoid invasion of Earth foiled by discovery of stairs.

Why the Antichrist Will Crash The first and foremost reason is the power in the Precious Blood that Christ shed on Calvary for our sakes: the crash of the Antichrist in Air Force One will testify to the truth and significance of the Sacrifice which the Creator Himself made by coming to the world in the body (likeness) of His son, Adam, to give us the example of perfection; for we were created in the image and likeness of the Almighty Creator, and have been called to partake of everlasting Life.
By crashing into the sea, the Antichrist will inadvertently contribute to modern history’s most powerful proof that a real war exists between Good and evil, and that evil is the confirmed loser: Our Creator never fails.
Gone with Pharaoh will be the notion of The Creator of the Universe as an uninvolved, questionable figurehead in some unspecified location in outer space. These 6,000 years of comparative chaos have been a trial for mankind and an irrefutable testimony to our essential need for The Savior.
By crashing in Air Force One, the Antichrist will inexorably take with him the grotesque farce of the ‘theory of evolution,’ which was none other than Satan’s latter-day attempt to introduce damnation as an academic principle. Sayonara to atheism. The Devil believes, and trembles; it is time for all his agents to tremble as well.
By making the plunge, Satan’s seed will give way to the defeat of the false prophet Muhammad, whose blasphemies against Christ YAHSHUAH have brought misery and shame to the people of the Holy Land. Muslims can finally be absolved of any responsibility to their oppressor, George “the Antichrist Muhammad” Bush, who recently blasphemed YAHSHUAH by claiming to be Christian while promoting ‘an eye for an eye,’ which YAHSHUAH put an end to nearly 2,000 years ago. They shall be free to pursue the true Book of Life.
With his death dive, George Washington Bush will show that he meant no good in 1776 (with his secret satanic societies), nor in favoring false Judaism, which denies every Jew’s only hope for salvation from the fire that will torment the Antichrist from now to eternity. Praise YAHSHUAH!
By becoming such a highly demonstrative target of the power in Christ’s Sacrifice, the crash of George “Weishaupt” Bush will expose the belly of the beast, the Roman Catholic Church, to the sharp arrows of Justice: it was Nero Ceasar who founded the Woman that rides upon the beast. Rome shall be no Eternal City; it is the seat of evil, and the culprit of the Dark Ages. Ratzinger is trapped. Let us see how he and his fellow crones become the hideous faces of Hell, awaiting Judgment Day. May Christian Deutschland rejoice!
Ratzinger knows it was the Catholic Church which set up Adolf Hitler to destroy Germany because of its Christian tendencies. World War II was a barbarians' protracted American heroism scheme to hide the New World Order.
The Vatican Rats know that Rome preserved the skull and bones of Nero Ceasar -- Satan’s son -- from c. A.D. 70, then delivered them to North America (Yale University) for George Bush’s ancestors to create a carbon copy of Nero, the first beast.
When George Herbert Walker Bush’s son sinks to the sea bottom, the former president will not longer be able to conceal what his Skull & Bones Society is all about.
The Clone -- William “Clinton” Jefferson Blythe -- and its fellow, inferior clones such as William Gates will lose control of their internal operating systems, reprogram, and self-destruct. IT will not be able to fake it any more. IT also knows that when AF-1 hits the water, the artificially reproduced Ivory Bill Woodpecker in Clinton’s home state of Arkansas will cease to be to The Clone’s honor. Ivory Bill is no ‘Lord God,’ and neither will Bill be making a comeback, once his satanic science projects are exposée. Cornell U. will feel the heat.
Once the man of sin goes under, his filthiness specialty called homosexuality will be known for what it is: the essence of rebellion against the Most High Creator. No more 'natural' explanations or excuses for sodomy and pedophilia, or any other perverseness. No more preferential treatment for AIDS.
Bush will crash because he has been exposed after having made a contract with Death. How, then, could the beast be a pro-lifer?
The Creator Almighty gave a command: Be fruitful, multiply, and replenish the earth. Artificial 'population control' is a lie which states that the Creator can make mistakes.
Abortion is cold-blooded murder after prostitution, regardless of whether or not the pregnancy is from marriage. All use of contraceptives, as well as promiscuity, is a personal identification as a whore or whoremonger.
The war in Iraq is not only a violation of international law, it is a trespass against the land of the Garden of Eden. The Antichrist knew that.
Satan's end has come, BY THE BLOOD OF YAHSHUAH!
These are all reasons why the Antichrist shall crash.

PRAISE YAHSHUAH FOREVER AND EVER!

Rubbish above dumped (multiple copies) on my forum without permission and in violation of the rules: finders keepers.

Age of Aquarius

Chicks fall for this moon in Uranus stuff.

Are you searching the Internet for the truth they don't want you to know,
but some spotty adolescents who watch too much sci-fi
and don't wash enough are happy to reveal to you on their “banned” website?
Get a life.

New Bermuda Triangle

New tax cuts have meant a decline in off-shore paranormal activity, creative accounting has now allowed Big Foot, the abominal snowman and the Loch Ness Monster to move into New Atlantis, an area situated between Silicon Valley*, Area 51 and Roswell, New Mexico. This forms a triangle with some cattle mutilations occuring outside the triangle. Coincidence? We don't think.

This Page is Guaranteed

100% Pure

* Not to be confused with Silicone Valley: Pamela Anderson's cleavage.

Crop Rectangles

New sinister shapes revealed in crops: oblongs and rectangles, quares and fryangles with parallel stripes. These stripes look just like airfields when viewed under the influence of hashish.

Arms shipment to The Venus De Milo held up in customs in Diego Garcia.

The bogey of epiphenomenalism drips from the nose of the Sphinx as Rupurt Murdoch looks to the skies for profits.

Michael Jackson beamed aboard in close encounter with alien space ship stored in secret hangar near Groom Lake. Rectal probe launched to investigate.

CIA experiments cross-breeding chimpanzees and people declared failure after George W Bush "elected" president.

Christain removed from Turin Shroud after 95 degree whitewash and persistent agitation. Waterboarding suspected.

This isn't funny: some people actually believe this shite

Missing I leads to serious diplomatic incident. Arch Bishop (86) denied entry to MENSA.

Of course you're as likely to find the hidden truth they don't want you to know on Google as you are to win the lottery.

The Keep Net

You've seen the bait, this is what I've caught:

“i know i'm mad, so there's no need for you to snort and tell me”

Princess Margaret, Stephen Ward and The Holy Grail Scandal:

the royals, to be or not to be...

Conspiracy Theory: Page Two: Follow the Money

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