Attention all inhabitants of sector ZZ9 plural Z alpha
If you are reading this and much of it is failing to register with you there is a good chance that the explanation might be something to do with the fact that that you are missing some vital cultural clues, especially the clues to be found within The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
To thoroughly confuse you further I must point out there are at least two distinct books known as The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the more accessible one being the first part of the five book trilogy written by Douglas Adams based on the greatest work of drama ever created, a radio series on
BBC Radio 4 Click for live(ish) feed.
which is the second best media outlet in the whole history of space-time.
The other book is, of course, The Book.
If you would like a copy of The Hitch Hiker's Guide to The Galaxy Please write to
Enclosing £3.95 for the book plus five hundred and ninety-seven billion, eight hundred and twelve thousand, four hundred and six pounds, 7p postage and packing.  |
The shade of blue above (#336699) is the closest that HTML can come to representing a Hooloovoo, the super intelligent shade of blue, it is now the colour used for links across this site. One day all websites will be powered by hooloovoo.
The Hitch Hiker's Guide has brought me some excellent tools for thinking and analysing. Many ideas contained within the stories have helped me to think through my own positions on various mysteries of life. With the exception of women, obviously.
The total perspective vortex was an interesting idea. A machine that, by extrapolating the information as to the fundamental relationship between all matter from a small sample (piece of fairy cake) an image of the entire universe and the relative position of the individual could be projected into the victim. DNA (That's Douglas Adams, I'm hip to this jive talk, daddy-o) said that the vortex was the most profound torture device ever created, other tortures could destroy a man's body or mind, but only the total perspective vortex could destroy his soul. Interesting concept. Perhaps a sub-lethal version could be developed to instil a little true humility into Christians. They too are under the same impression as to the reason for the existence of the universe as was Zaphod Beeblebrox.
I also liked DNA's dismissal of time travel (other than a plot device) by pointing out that if time travel did exist it would appear to have been invented simultaneously in all eras. Is that the right tense for that sentence, I don't have access to quite as many tenses as time travellers would have needed. Or is that will have nood? No, shall have would nid.
I liked Deep Thought, the computer so powerful that, before anybody had time to switch it off, it had started from the basic "I think therefore I am" and had got as far as deducing the existence of income tax and rice pudding before anybody had a chance to switch it off. Excellent.
The Guide didn't have a single hero. There was Arthur Dent, but, well, he was Arthur Dent. His heart was in the right place I suppose. I also associated with certain aspects of Ford Prefect, Zaphod Beeblebrox and Marvin the android. One mistake Adams made was calling Marvin a manically depressed robot, Marvin wasn't bipolar, his depression never lifted. Not only was the glass always half empty everything about the glass was unspeakably dreadful, but he'd speak about it anyway. Even if nobody listened. Which they never did. He didn't know why he bothered.
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Douglas Adams (1952 to 2001) was to the English language what Jimi Hendrix was to the guitar. |
Hitch Hiker Linkshttp://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2http://www.faqs.org/faqs/douglas-adams-FAQ/http://www.douglasadams.com/creations/hhgg.htmlhttp://www.zz9.org/ |
In writing my website I have come to the startling conclusion that every hoopy frood out there in cyberspace is also a hitch hiker fan. All the sad obsessive types prefer the X-Files or Star Trek. My own sci-fi heritage is mostly of the tongue in cheek variety although I must confess to liking the very British, BBC and low-budget sci-fi of Doctor Who and Blake's Seven. |
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My own growing interest in the female of my own or closely similar species was helped by fantasies that involved Servalan, the leader of the Terran Federation and the assistants of Doctor Who, especially the one who is now Mrs Richard Dawkins.
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Servalan. Evil leader of the Terran Federation... |
...and masturbation fantasy figure for millions of my generation. |
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Lalla Ward (Mrs Richard Dawkins, ex Mrs Tom Baker) as the beautiful and intelligent Romana, with K9. |
Not to be confused with the other Laa Laa. |
Gratuitous sexual fantasy picture. |
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