Hi, I stumbled onto your web site today and enjoyed the little bit that I read. I was especially drawn to your sincere question about how to raise kids as atheists. I have two kids (a daughter, almost 19 and a son, 14) and I have raised them to be atheists and it has been an interesting experience.

I have always been very clear to speak to them about my values and what we now consider “our values.” Those things include respect for others (regardless of their religion), respect for the earth (without which we would not have a very comfortable place to stand), respect for themselves and their countless abilities and potential. By the way, my kids are the only one’s I know who do not say, “Oh, my God!” because I taught them that some people have great reverence for what they believe is God and to say that might be considered disrespectful to those people. So my kids generally say, “Oh, my gosh.”

The hardest part of raising my kids as atheists was when my son was in about 4th through 8th grades. At that time, every kid wants to be like every other kid. So he would come home and say he was a Christian (because the other kids were all Christians, and if he wasn’t, they would treat him like a pariah). So I would ask him what it meant to be a Christian and he would fumble his way through some made-up answer.

So we started to read the Bible together and when we got through about half of Genesis, he was done being a Christian. My son has the kind of mind that is always asking questions. Ever since he was young he had the ability to reason his way through some very interesting philosophical quandaries (I think all kids could do it if they were encouraged to think, instead of being encouraged to believe in whatever they are being told, regardless of the fact that it doesn’t comport with the reality they see around them).

Raising kids Atheist is no different than raising your kids Jewish. You have to understand that you are going to be viewed as an outsider in many circles; there may be some parties that you don’t get invited to. But because the beliefs we share with our families are so important to us, and much more important to us than the silliness of what others think about us, we are willing to weather through a little bit of turmoil for the sake of what we believe to be the truth.

I have occasionally been invited to participate in the classic atheist/Christian public debates at various churches or other venues. I always invite my kids to go (I don’t require them, I just invite them). When they see the two sets of ideas presented and debated, they never fail to conclude that they are on the right side of the debate.

Whatever you teach your kids, it is important that you live your life with dignity and honesty, so they will see that you are confident, trustworthy and that what you teach them makes sense to you as well as in the context of the world around us.

I hope that helps. It is good to see honest and respectful people advancing the cause of free thinking atheists.

By the way, there is no reason to need to use profanity on your web site. It doesn’t make you look smarter and it takes the focus away from the very good points that you are making. I have been an atheist for many, many years. And I once heard Madelyn Murray O’Hare speak at a function. She was so rude and obnoxious that I immediately cancelled my membership in American Atheists. She was a very devoted person to the cause, but she was damaged by her hatred.

I am not an atheist because of what I hate; it’s because of what I love. She was a very bad ambassador for atheism. When you are out on the Internet debating the issues, you are an ambassador of atheism too. I think you can win more arguments by sticking to the issues and not muddying the water with profanity.

Thanks for your good work.

Jim