U.S. politicians are still ranting about family values,
as if there were disagreement about the subject. Remember that
the cry was started by fundamentalist religious leaders, implying
that the Bible actually supports strong families. Christians (and
Jews, too) might be surprised to learn that the Bible is, on balance,
not in favor of what we usually think of as family values.
• Right from the beginning, the bearing of children is
made a punishment. In sorrow shalt thou bring forth children (Genesis
3:16); and later, Woe unto them that are with child and to
them that give suck in those days (Matt. 24:19, Mark 13:17,
Luke 21:23. See also Luke 23:29). Not encouraging words for a
young religious couple about to start a family! I thought that
family values meant for children to be a blessing, rather than
a curse.
• Abraham actually started to kill his young son,
because God told him to, and that's presented as a virtue (Genesis
22:1-12, James 2:21). It's an example of blind obedience, but
NOT of parental devotion and protectiveness! Even today we sometimes
have people told by God to kill their children, and they do it;
it happened right here in Lincoln, Nebraska some years ago. And
it's not uncommon to read of parents refusing medical care for
their deathly-ill child because of some biblical passage.
• Jephthah did kill his own daughter, because of
an ill-considered vow he made (Judges 11:30-39). Even though
the killing didn't occur for two months, God did not see fit
to release Jephthah from his vow. (The Bible seems to imply that
the main tragedy was that she died a virgin.)
• Abraham's wife Hagar and their child Ishmael got booted
out into the wilderness, for no reason except that his other
wife, Sarah, was jealous (Genesis 21:14). The Bible shows no
criticism, and Abraham and Sarah continued to prosper.
• Most of us would say that incest is against the interests
of the family. Yet Lot, whom the Bible considers to be a very
good man, had sex with his two daughters (Genesis 19:33-36);
and there was no punishment for either Lot or the daughters.
Indeed, it might well be argued that Lot must have had divine
help in this, since he was able to perform sexually despite being
both very old and very drunk! In defense of the girls, it must
be noted that they had no mother to guide them, because some
time earlier God got peeved and killed her (Genesis 19:26), and
apparently also the two men who were engaged to marry the girls
(Genesis 19:14).
• In order to gain favor with a king, Abraham said that
his wife was his sister, and offered her to the king for sex.
This happened twice (Genesis 12:11 and Genesis 20:2). Isaac did
a similar thing (Genesis 26:6-10). And Lot (Genesis 19:8) once
offered his virgin daughters to be used by a mob at Sodom. (St.
Peter called Lot a "righteous man", 2 Peter 2:8)
• Jacob tricked his own brother Esau of his inheritance
(Genesis 25:31-33). Then he lied to his dying father about it
(Genesis 27:19). And God loved Jacob and hated Esau, the victim
(Malachi 1:3, Romans 9:13).
• The last of the plagues brought upon the Egyptians was
the death of all their first-born children, because The Lord
hardened the heart of Pharoah (Exodus 9:12, 10:1, 10:20,
10:27, 11:10). Couldn't he have SOFTENED Pharoah's heart and
spared all those innocent children? Maybe Egyptian families don't
matter.
• Jesus ridiculed his own mother in public: Woman,
what have I to do with thee? (John 2:4) This, of course,
was a direct violation of the commandment about honoring one's
parents, which Jesus said he agreed with (Matt. 15:4 and several
other places). On another occasion he refused to see his mother
and brothers, answering their request with a wisecrack (Matt.
12:46-50). And when someone praised Mary, Jesus disagreed (Luke
11:27-8).
• Many families include children who were conceived out
of wedlock. Deuteronomy 23:2 tells us to discriminate against
such children and their descendants: A bastard may not enter
into the congregation of the Lord; even unto the tenth generation
shall he not enter into the congregation of the Lord.
• Although half of a family consists of women, the Old
and New Testaments have enough approved-of degradation of women
to make a small book on that subject. (Woe to the Women - The
Bible Tells Me So, by Annie Laurie Gaylor, 1981)
• Jesus promised his followers great rewards if they would
desert their wives and children (Matt. 19:29). And in the old
testament too, it was good for men to put away their wives (Ezra
10:19).
• Jesus says very clearly that anyone who wants to be his
disciple must hate his father, mother, wife, children, brothers,
and sisters (Luke 14:26).
• And then there is: For I am come to set a man at variance
against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and
the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's
foes shall be they of his own household (Matt. 10:35-36).
Does it indicate a pro- family attitude of Jesus, when such things
are the result of, if not the reason for, his coming? Is this a
sample of the good news some evangelists keep proclaiming?
Believers might wiggle and twist, and do apologetics on every
one of these examples. But it remains a fact that they are all
against what we generally consider to be “family values”.