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When I was a student at University I had a badge that read Born Again Atheist. I loved that badge. Since I have been writing this site I have come to realize that I was not born again as an atheist, I was born atheist and I have reverted to the natural, wild state.

We are all born without religion. No child believes in God. Why should they?

Religion is both learned and taught. Some children want to learn it, others don't.

I have very clear memories of not wanting to say my prayers as a boy. I knew it was pointless. Why did I have to speak to a father that wasn't there, who didn't listen and would do what he wanted to do anyway? It didn't make sense to me. I resented the waste of time. I resented having to try to believe in what I was sure was nonsense.

I don't remember asking to join the Cub Scouts and being told I was too young. That is the reason my mother gave for me joining the choir at the age of seven, or was it six? I certainly don't remember wanting to join the choir. For a Christian my mother is a powerful liar and manipulator. Perhaps it is her propensity to believe what is convenient for her to believe that is the key to her power. I have never been good at lying, I have always known it was wrong. As a choirboy I had to sing some terrible hymns. They were bad theology, bad poetry and the words did not fit the music. The resentment grew with every tortured line. Lo he abhors not the vir er ginswomb. That was the worst of them. It might have been the straw that broke the camel's back, I am not sure. But it was definitely in church that I became a self-acknowledged atheist. I had spent several years going to church. I had listened to hundreds of sermons, sang thousands of hymns. Recited prayers. I knew it was a colossal waste of time. I was just heartily sick of trying to convince myself that it was worth trying to believe the nonsense anymore.

Once I had taken that step everything was easy. Going to church was easy. I didn't believe in God so what did it matter if I lied and said that I did, who would get angry? God? It was just easier not to rock the boat. At the age of 12 we moved house, NO, I would not join the choir at the other church. I put my foot down. My mother said that it was because my voice would soon be breaking. She could believe what she wanted. I would believe what I wanted.

Since then I have rarely been to church. Family weddings, funerals and Christenings. I usually pretend to sing. I stand up and sit down with the others. But I got married in church, and two of those family christenings were my children. My wife is a Christian. She will not discuss religion with me. She knows I will wipe the floor with her in any kind of argument. But she's the boss. She even got me to be a Godfather to the child of her best friend, I made it clear to the parents that I didn't believe in God and if I recited any vows it would not be sincere but they wanted me to do it, so I went through with the sham. I have moral qualms about lying in church but my Christian relatives just want me to go through the motions. Whatever, it is all a waste of time, it always has been.

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