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Joshua, of the Old Testament of the Bible,
as follows:
My ancestry might suggest illegitimacy to
the over-literal.
Joshua's full name was Joshua (Yehoshua)
Bin-Nun, or "Joshua, son of Nun". Since nuns were not allowed to
marry, this could certainly suggest illegitimacy.
I am a celebrated spymaster.
Joshua 2: "Now Joshua the son of Nun sent
out two men from Acacia Grove to spy secretly, saying, "Go, view
the land, especially Jericho." So they went, and came to the house
of a harlot named Rahab, and lodged there."
I have a more famous namesake who is known
by a different name.
The name "Jesus" from the Greek New Testament
is the same as the name "Joshua" from the Hebrew Old Testament.
I prosecuted a war criminal.
Joshua 7 tells of the prosecution of Achan
for stealing war spoils from Jericho:
"And Achan answered Joshua and said, "Indeed
I have sinned against the LORD God of Israel, and this is what I
have done: 21When I saw among the spoils a beautiful Babylonian
garment, two hundred shekels of silver, and a wedge of gold weighing
fifty shekels, I coveted them and took them. And there they are,
hidden in the earth in the midst of my tent, with the silver under
it." 22So Joshua sent messengers, and they ran to the tent; and
there it was, hidden in his tent, with the silver under it. 23And
they took them from the midst of the tent, brought them to Joshua
and to all the children of Israel, and laid them out before the
LORD. 24Then Joshua, and all Israel with him, took Achan the son
of Zerah, the silver, the garment, the wedge of gold, his sons,
his daughters, his oxen, his donkeys, his sheep, his tent, and all
that he had, and they brought them to the Valley of Achor. 25And
Joshua said, "Why have you troubled us? The LORD will trouble you
this day." So all Israel stoned him with stones; and they burned
them with fire after they had stoned them with stones."
I have my own book.
Joshua is the sixth book of the Old Testament.
I kept my word to a prostitute.
Joshua kept his word to Rahab, the prostitute,
and spared her from the destruction of Jericho.
Joshua 2: "Now therefore, I beg you, swear
to me by the LORD, since I have shown you kindness, that you also
will show kindness to my father's house, and give me a true token,
13 and spare my father, my mother, my brothers, my sisters, and
all that they have, and deliver our lives from death." So the men
answered her, "Our lives for yours, if none of you tell this business
of ours. And it shall be, when the LORD has given us the land, that
we will deal kindly and truly with you." Joshua 6: "But Joshua had
said to the two men who had spied out the country, "Go into the
harlot's house, and from there bring out the woman and all that
she has, as you swore to her." 23 And the young men who had been
spies went in and brought out Rahab, her father, her mother, her
brothers, and all that she had. So they brought out all her relatives
and left them outside the camp of Israel. 24 But they burned the
city and all that was in it with fire. Only the silver and gold,
and the vessels of bronze and iron, they put into the treasury of
the house of the LORD. 25 And Joshua spared Rahab the harlot, her
father's household, and all that she had. So she dwells in Israel
to this day, because she hid the messengers whom Joshua sent to
spy out Jericho."
I committed genocide, more than once, but
I claimed I was obeying orders from on high.
Joshua 6 describes the fall of Jericho.
"They devoted the city to the LORD and destroyed with the sword
every living thing in it - men and women, young and old, cattle,
sheep and donkeys."
Joshua 8 describes the fall of Ai.
"When Israel had finished killing all the
men of Ai in the fields and in the desert where they had chased
them, and when every one of them had been put to the sword, all
the Israelites returned to Ai and killed those who were in it."
Joshua 11 describes how many peoples gathered to fight Israel and
how God delivered these people unto Joshua, who killed them all.
"...and they smote all the souls that [were] therein with the edge
of the sword, utterly destroying [them]: there was not any left
to breathe..." "And all the cities of those kings, and all the kings
of them, did Joshua take, and smote them with the edge of the sword,
[and] he utterly destroyed them but every man they smote with the
edge of the sword, until they had destroyed them, neither left they
any to breathe."
Pete Michell
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