I read your ‘roving eye’ page, and found it incredibly informative. I have been looking for a non-puritan view on the subject, and, though I may think that your views seem to be swinging a little to far to the other side of the spectrum, I respect that you had the courage to put your statements out there for those who, like me, are confused on the subject. I do have a few comments that, if you have the time, I wouldn’t mind hearing your opinion on. If you do not, I understand.

For context’s sake, I will tell you that I am a 23 year old female, and when I was fourteen years old I began dating a twenty year old man. At 15 we began a sexual relationship. Our relationship ended when he was 23 and I was 17.

First, I wonder if men’s attraction to pubescent and immediately post pubescent females will continue in a society that is overpopulated and no longer needs women to be so fertile as to produce as many offspring as possible to ensure the survival of the species. In furtherance to this fact, modern medicine has made it much more likely that a woman will survive labor, just as it has also made it more likely that children will survive their first few years of life. Considering these truths, wouldn’t it be in our best interests for there to be fewer children born in the next few generations then has been the norm for previous years? I do realize that such subconscious conditioning occurs over time, and our collective consciousness has not experienced so many years since this was a valid fact as to have caused this shift in perception, but I do wonder if it would be reasonable to assume we should be trying to instigate and propel said shift.

Second, I would like to examine your comment that, “I suspect that there are two separate things going on here, genes are building men to find 17 year olds to be most attractive and genes are building women to be at their peak of attractiveness at 17. It would be interesting to tease out which factor is the stronger”. I do not believe that there are two separate things going on here, but one. Beauty is not an absolute, and it changes as society does. In our society, it is most common for men to be attracted to women instead of other men, and women to be attracted to men instead of other women, so it makes sense that one gender determines exactly what qualities are attractive in the other. If men are attracted to females because of their breeding abilities, and the ability for most women to breed reaches its peak at seventeen, then the qualities of a seventeen year old are what become beautiful for that society. The biological facts of being a 17 year old woman are the same today as they ever were, it is the standard of beauty which changes. The genes of a 17 year old cannot make her more attractive if attractiveness is an ever changing collective opinion. To follow this train of thought, if society were to evolve at this point so that men were biologically attracted to older women (say because of overpopulation or something to the same effect), then the qualities of older women would become the new standard of beauty.

Lastly, I disagree with your opinion that a young person is equipped to decide for themselves if they have reached an age where they are able to deal with adult status and the sexual identity that entails. Every young person wants to grow up quickly, and the truth is that they do not have enough experience with the world to make that decision for themselves at 13 or 14 years of age. I was not ready to have the relationship I had with an older man when I was fourteen, and it has hurt me in ways that I can recognize now, but would never have been able to conceive of at that point in my development. I believed with every fiber of my being at that time that I was old enough and mature enough to handle it, but I wasn’t, and though I would have been angry at a third part interfering at that point, it would have been the best thing for me. Children need time to be children, whether they are aware of it or not, and it is our job as adults to make sure that that time is not interfered with. It is crucial for growing up at a normal rate so that children can become well adjusted adults. 21 might be a ridiculously high age limit, possibly even 18, but an age limit needs to be there for those who are not experienced or knowledgeable enough about this world to make that decision for themselves yet.

That is all. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Holly (from Canada).