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Religion, sex and politics, all the things you should not
mention on radio, the only things worth mentioning.
Atheism and the problem of women.
That is a tough one. I do not know what to suggest. I suppose
honesty is essential for a long term relationship. If you are looking
for a long term relationship then you must be honest. You can't pretend
to be a believer for life. I hope you manage to succeed with your studies.
Looking back on my life I would have been happier studying a science subject,
probably biology or biochemistry. The personality I have is not suited
to a job dealing with people all the time. I am not a good salesman or
manager, I am not good at caring for people. I am no good at pretending
and lying. I should have become a scientist instead.
In England most people do not worry about atheists. We are
certainly not seen as dangerous and a threat to society (ha! they don't
know us!). I think that Poland must be more like the less tolerant parts
of the USA, atheism is hard work for you. For me it is easy. Nobody really
cares too much about what I believe in. People ask me what my website
is about, I tell them, and there is very little response. I do not know
if anybody I work with DOES believe in God, nobody talks about it. I suspect
many of them have the kind of residual faith "there has to something in
it", the kind of belief system that is assumed by the makers of horror
films.
Your English is very good, many Americans write less well.
I suppose that makes learning English through using the Internet difficult,
so much written English on the Internet is poor. If there were no clues
in the text I think I might guess that you were not English or American
but I would not be sure. The biggest clue is the lack of "the" in a few
places that suggests your English grammar was not learned as a child.
On the other hand this clashes with the obvious intelligence in the writing
and your mastery of some grammar and spelling rules that many native speakers
often struggle with, such as 's endings on words. So overall the impression
I receive of you through your written English is of an intelligent person
but not a native English speaker. I have noticed in the past that TV portrayals
of Polish people have given them scripts with a few "the"s missing. I
guess that Polish does not use that grammatical device in quite the same
way. It seems to be a characteristic error, enough of a pattern to be
a stereotype, like Japanese people are always supposed to get R and L
confused when they speak English.
You mentioned that you have some disagreements with some
subjects on my site. I hope so, I would worry about anybody who agreed
with everything! If you want to suggest where I have made any mistakes
I will give it my attention, and either change or defend my views.
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Thank you for the compliments about my writing
(and intelligence..). I try as I might to put everything correctly.
I know that 'the word lies to the mind' and I think that if people
tried harder to be understood there would be less conflicts (I have
a rough theory that every conflict emerges from 'mutual misunderstanding').
I also realize that my written English is much better than my skills
in speaking or listening to native speakers (which actually leave
much to wish). It is so because I (and most other Poles) learn English
by doing lots of reading. I spend much time reading articles downloaded
from the Internet but I try to choose only those 'wiser' ones (containing
scientific news, freethought etc.) I also visit some game-fan sites
(I love RPGs, esp. Baldur's Gate and Planescape Torment if it tells
anything to you) and associated message boards (where the quality
of English is higher than I once expected but spoiled by that fashionable
phonetic transcription). There indeed is no equivalent of 'the'
or any other determiners in the Polish language. I have always had
problems with it but I am still working on it. Anyway thanks for
the hint.
But to the point. I have some different opinion
on upbringing children (based on my own experience of a former kid).
Namely I wouldn't be so sure if 'bullshit' like Santa Claus is really
harmful to their ability to think rationally. Firstly children need
some myths to play with, esp. the cute ones. They are not ready
to uphold the burden of cruel truth until they realize the true
nature of the world themselves (in some cases never). Your wife
was right when she told about 'spoiling things for them'. You are
in very convenient position having a believing wife. You do not
have to tell them all the stories about God etc. yourself and they
will never tell that you lied to them when they finally grow up.
That's why I think that a Christian-atheist combo is especially
good as a marriage. One of you provides the kids with a dose of
religion and the other one helps develop rational thinking - the
children will choose which way they prefer. And finally the most
important observation. When I realized there is no Santa Claus it
helped me become more sceptic. I then thought that maybe what others
tell you is not always true. I learned that I have to think for
myself or else I would be easily deceived. I learned that believing
without a proof is not as good as the priest tells you. This experience
was worth more than reading a thick tome of atheistic thought. What's
more, I learned that I actually liked the idea of people giving
each other presents more than the idea of the stranger guy in red
delivering packages to us. It proved to me that rational explanations
do not need to be any worse (more cruel?) than those mythical ones.
So in my opinion a 'slight bullshit' in the long run makes child's
mind stronger. I hope I made it clear enough and you get what I
mean.
Now about the Christian girl. I think that someday
I will tell her I am an atheist. But before I will need to prove
to her that I am not an egoist, I am not 'evil', I am reliable and
can feel compassion, I can see the beauty of some things (maybe
in a different way than she does) and that I am not arrogant or
stubborn. It is going to take time. But I consider it very important
since I am probably the only atheist she knows and whatever I do
shows her what atheists are like in general.
I wonder what people in Western Europe think
about Poland. I have been to England this holiday but I didn't learn
much about that particular subject. I have a feeling that we are
often considered similar to Russians and all former Soviet Union
members. But I must assure you that we have as much in common with
Russians as Englishmen with Germans. The most important traits of
Polishmen are in my opinion: courage (often blind), cunning (everybody
gets the taxes around more or less) and laziness (applicable esp.
for farmers and so called businessmen). And we drink less vodka
(yuck!), nevertheless alcoholism is still a great problem. I am
also bound to say that Polish and Russian mafias co-operate (stealing
cars from Germany). I am also sure you have heard about Andrew Golota
(that heavyweight boxer who lost with Tyson). I guess that this
blockhead is considered 'an average Polishman'. He is doing a real
anti-advertisement for us. Most Poles are just normal people. And
we have some handsome guys and really beautiful girls..
BTW: is there any difference between words 'Polishman'
and 'Pole' in English? OK, enough of this debate for today : )
Mike
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Hello again. I always like to answer e-mail as a complete
piece. This makes it easier to use on my website. Do you have any problems
with me putting this stuff on my site? I think you should have seen other
e-mail exchanges on my site at
darwin1.htm
mark1.htm
Is it OK for me to do the same sort of thing with this?
Do you have any confidentiality rules?
In no particular order, here goes,
Golota
I don't follow boxing much for two good reasons, I think
it is a barbaric sport and much more importantly I can't afford the pay-per-view
fees.
Golota did look a mean and nasty dude, but I only saw him
in the newspaper. To watch a big fight like that would cost me as much
money as I spend on getting drunk, twice. No fight is worth that much.
Polish people.
We have people of Polish extraction in England, most came
over in the years before during and after World War II. They are quite
invisible most of the time. They are less distinctive facially than the
Welsh, Scots or Irish. We only tend to notice them when they give their
names. There is no prejudice in England about Poles (we never say Polishman,
just Pole or Polish people). This is different in America, I am sure you
know about "dumb Polacks", this phrase is never used in England except
like I have done, to show how prejudiced some Americans can be.
I have not had much contact with Polish people in England
other than serving people with Polish names in my shop (the shop I work
in, I am no capitalist shop owner). When I went to America in 1984 I worked
for the Democratic party in an area with a lot of Polish people. I had
a good time at a Polish club drinking Pure Spirit and listening to (former
US Secretary of State) Zbigniew Brzezinski give a speech in Polish to
the crowd. The only words I recognized were "Battle of Britain". It must
have been a good speech, they clapped a lot. It seemed to be very moving.
I enjoy serving Polish people because they are usually pleasantly
surprised when I can read their names correctly off their credit cards.
Most of the other people I work with would not see it as a name, just
a set of letters that might score well at Scrabble.
RPGs
I have never played such games. I spend all my spare time
on my website, e-mail and newsgroups. Apart from the time I waste working,
sleeping, eating, watching television and talking to my family.
I suppose I know what you mean. The combination of a mutually
tolerant Christian and atheist parent is a good one. My wife makes sure
the children hear the bullshit
and myths. I can tell them my versions at the appropriate time. If we
were both atheists then they would miss out on a big part of our culture.
England is not just England, it is part of Britain, the English speaking
world, Europe and also "Christendom". They need to know what Christian
culture is, even if they are to reject it. Knowing about Christianity
is more important than other cultures for them. I have no intention of
telling the big-eyed little darlings that there is no Father Christmas
or tooth fairy just like that. I am waiting for them to ask me, to show
some doubt. Then I will tell them the truth, including why I did not tell
them earlier.
I will not tell them the lies myself but I allow them to
hear them, knowing that they are not going to be too severely damaged
by them. I can also understand how understanding about the nature of myths
and children's stories can help their understanding of the nature of those
myths that the Church expects them to continue to believe in.
English people don't think much about
Poles. I mean that they don't think much good or bad. I think most
of the people I work with could tell you that Poland was East of Germany
and West of Russia, mostly flat. Peopled by potato farmers who drink vodka.
They would probably be able to remember that the invasion of Poland started
the second world war. They would make jokes about it, how we saved you.
(HA!) They will probably know that most Poles are Catholic, like the Pope.
They would not be so clear about the Nazi persecution of Jews and Polish
nationalists and communists. Or the concentration camps, or how few Poles
seemed to be curious as to what went on there. Or the war crimes by both
German and Soviet armies or the scale of Polish civilian losses. Or the
way Polish independence, supposedly the reason for starting fighting in
1939, suddenly stopped being important after Churchill, Roosevelt and
Stalin had their talks in Yalta.
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Hitler sends troops into Poland.
September 1939.
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Churchill, Roosevelt and Stalin.
The accussed, Yalta, Ukraine, February 1945.
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There were no good guys and bad guys in the Second World
War, no black and white, only lighter and darker shades of grey and lots
of blood.
The Eastern Bloc was seen as a bloc. We did not think too
much about the individual nations and peoples. Perhaps this was in part
due to the feeling that we could have done more to stop Stalin taking
over all of Eastern Europe. Guilt. But was there anything that could have
been done? There was no appetite for more fighting and there was nobody
visible to fight for.
The scars of Hitler and Stalin run deep across Europe.
Things are changing. We are beginning to see that Europe
is bigger than the European Union. The change in our perceptions is slow
but we are starting to see the half of Europe that lay behind the iron
curtain. I think it will take another ten years or so before we in Britain
can think about Poland and Hungary and the rest as full and normal countries
within Europe, but we are getting there, slowly.
Martin
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